Hi all,

it's been a while, I guess. actually, who am I kidding, it's been a pretty long time. so I'm sorry about that. I'm not going to make excuses because I don't really have any to give off the top of my head. I just haven't thought about the blog very much and instead I've focused on other things, and now I feel like I've neglected this blog. 

also, I think I've been neglectful, period. I haven't thought about the environment and recycling and climate changed nearly as much as I used to. I've shoved it into the back of my mind because I've been kind of scared to address it. the entire last year, my 8th grade year, I've only been occasionally and half heartedly writing on the blog, or telling people in my class (and myself) to make small changes in their lifestyle to conserve water, save energy, etc. 

I do think there is a reason for this. my passion for being an environmental activist peaked in 6th grade. at that time, I would always be turning off lights if they were open, closing faucets if they weren't being used, constantly researching news about the environment; I would pick up trash that I saw in the road (I still do this, actually), and I would explain frequently to almost everyone the scientific reason why and how global warming occurs and what we can do about it before it's too late. 

but all my classmates just knew me as the girl who was obsessed with turning off the lights. 

they didn't really care why I did it, why it was so important to me to do those things, or why it gave me so much guilt if I saw a faucet dripping and didn't close it. 

they thought it was funny. 

and at some point, I don't really know. I guess I started changing. I would still do many of those things, but I'd do it in a funny way, like "haha yeah, there I go closing the light again, isn't that so cute and quirky?" and then, I gradually just... gave up, I guess. since 6th grade I had urged the staff at my school to have an annual earth day celebration, and in 8th grade I said nothing. not only that, I tried to pretend to completely ignore Earth Day, as though April 22nd meant absolutely nothing to me. but it did, and so did everything else. but I think I just hid those feelings because I wasn't taken seriously, and I felt that however much I tried, I couldn't make a difference and that I might as well just give up and focus on other things, like how to be like everyone else so people wouldn't think I was a weird nerd-type earth-obsessed person. and all that fitting in (or trying to, really) just ended up with me becoming kind of... depressed. and sad. and... other negative synonyms. 

it's now September, and it's been more than 3 months since school ended and I haven't seen many of my classmates, many of the people who unknowingly hurt my self esteem by making fun of me enough that I almost threw away a unique part of me. so I guess I've had enough time to think about it. in a couple days I'm going to start a new school and I'm hoping to start over. I'm hoping to meet people who care about my opinions and my thoughts and don't just think I'm strange. when I think back on my passion for the environment in 6th grade, I see a 11-year-old bubbling with enthusiasm, a passion for nature and full of ideas for ways to change the world. 

but in 2 years the world changed that girl. 

I want to regain all of my enthusiasm and hope I had. I want to find people who support me and my ideas, and stay away from people who keep me down. and maybe doing that will make people intimidated or weirded out because I think about different things than most other people(gasp! independent thought!). but I'm going to do the things that make me happy and follow the things I'm passionate about and make a positive difference in the world. 

I think I'm rambling. 

ok. to sum up:

I love writing,

and my passion is nature and the environment,

and my hope is to contribute to ending climate change and to make people more thankful for the  world they live in,

and this blog is the perfect way to combine both of those things!

and I don't really care if people will judge me for following my passions, my hopes, and my dreams: those people don't matter,

because there are always so many people who won't do that, who will support you and stand by you and help you,

you just have to believe in yourself and stay strong until then. Focus on what is important to you, what you're passionate about, and you will be happy. 

...aaaand that rant ended like a monologue from a Disney movie. 

but I had to get that off my chest. I hope that this helped some of you who're going through/went through the same things as me. the world will always try to change you and to take away the parts of you that make you you, but you can fight back and change the world. 

i've got a lot of ideas for new things to do on the blog! expect frequent posts from me from now on. 

keep recycling,

yasemin